i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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