Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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