If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
