She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
