She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
