I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
