i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I think I sprained my soul last night
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
i now understand why vodka
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
