i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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