If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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