That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My pussy is not your playground.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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