I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
