I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
