I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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