Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
