People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Your dad touched me again.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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