Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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