We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
