is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
