3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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