Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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