Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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