I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
