At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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