Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
3 2 1 whiskey
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
