she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize
