im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
