it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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