SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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