Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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