You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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