I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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