Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I have already put on my inside pants.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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