She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Randomize
