my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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