A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
