Nicole vs. Life
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Randomize
