i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
apparently the secret to your success is patron
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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