Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
