I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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