Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
