dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
