He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
