Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She bit a glass in half.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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