I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
it's like iHOP with fire
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
