He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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