I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
