she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
handjob tips. give me some.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
