Small penises have feelings too.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
