Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
