lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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