And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
